I Killed Jesus

Not only once, but many times.

Our sin is our falling short of the glory of God. We are not righteous. We need the righteousness of Jesus, which comes from faith in Jesus Christ.

Our sin deserves death and that is its rightful consequence.

But why do we keep sinning? Why is it so difficult for us to do what God asks us to do and let go of our earthly desires?
That is because we are shy about exposing our sins. We are embarrassed about sharing certain immoral actions that we commit daily. For instance, it is widely believed that all guys watch porn and lust over girls, but men are afraid to say it themselves in front of women. How can we, then, say that we are capable of fighting off our sins when we are afraid to expose it? You see, we should be fighting to expose our sins, and hiding from it won’t change anything. But once we expose our sin, we can be saved and not allow our sins to enslave us again.

We are slaves to God when we are saved!

Slave to God = Life.

(Romans 6:22-23)

Look at Luke 7:36-50 for an example. Sinful woman (prostitute) was disrespected and was condescended upon, and Pharisee (Teacher of the law) was revered and viewed with honor. Look at the scripture and see who respected whom. How did they view their sin? What was their response to their sin, and why? Jesus tells us that no matter how trivial our sins may be compare to those of others, we are equal before Him. We need God! Our love for Him should be great because our sin is overwhelming.

God sent His son, Jesus, to die for us on the cross. Jesus died for our sins. Just because God put Jesus on the cross for our sins, could it be possible that Jesus actually wanted to die? The answer is no. Jesus died willingly because it was to fulfill God’s purpose.

It was because of OUR sins that Jesus had to die. Yet, here we are today, still committing sins. Consequently, we are killing Jesus over and over again. Is it because we haven’t really seen Jesus in real life, that we allow this to happen? Should anything be different if one of our family members had to die for what we did wrong? Would you be so willing to commit the sin again? I certainly hope not.

I believe that the first step we need to take is to expose our sins. Once we are strong enough to let ourselves know what we are doing wrong, then we can truly fight it. How could we possibly fight something if we don’t know it exist?

Are you willing to expose your sins?


I just realized after posting this that today was Valentines Day… Maybe I should have written something more happy and loving… But then again, Single’s Awareness day isn’t too exciting, anyway. I just need His love.


3 Reasons to Love Your Life

To conjure only 3 reasons to love your life proved to be a challenge, because life offers so many more, but here’s my list. Feel free add more to the list on the comments below! I’d love to hear from you!

1. Smiles & Laughter

These two are the prevailing indications that a person is in a state of happiness. One cannot be frowning or crying when she is smiling or laughing. Let’s just break it down: Many people desire money, because they have so many items that they want to buy. Does this mean money can buy happiness? Absolutely not. Money only augments one’s avarice and clouds her self-reflection and awareness of others. But what one can do with money can put a smile on her face. I know this sounds like a belying statement, but bear with me. When one satisfies her greed by purchasing unnecessary goods or donate to the need, she naturally smiles. Look around you throughout the day, and count how many people are smiling or laughing. The studies have shown that smiles and laughter are contagious. They will bounce around from person to person, giving each soul a moment of happiness. Sure, those short moments prove to be evanescent, but will occur so frequently that a person can convince herself that she lives in a happy environment. I have learned that some people are just way too happy all the time, which some others do not appreciate, but I think that is a good thing. Next time you are annoyed by “unnecessarily” happy people, just stop for a minute and reflect on your day; You will be sure to find reasons to smile and laugh.


2. Friends & Family

I am not going to focus too greatly on the family aspect of the reasons, because I believe it is self explanatory. Yes, many people can argue that that statement applies to “friends” too, but I will still refuse to add great details to the family side of this. To keep it more concise, just multiply the sentiment about friends by 100 to compute how precious one’s family is. Anyway, friends are the reasons to love your life. First of all, why do we have friends? Or, why do we call certain people our friends? Prevailing ideology is that friends are people who will love you for who you are and what you do. In other words, you can be your true self to those people and not worry about being judged. But as one of my most revered writers mentioned in her blog, people really don’t care too much about what you do, because they are too busy worrying about themselves. To amalgamate her statement with my experience is that (please correct me if I am wrong), we should not worry so much about what others will think of us. So friends should be people whom you can trust and rely on in hard and fun times, not just those who refuse to judge you. But honestly, it is so easy to interact with strangers in the street and just have good laughs that we can essentially call everyone our friend. See where I am going with this? Everyone around you is the reason to love your life. Sure, there may be people who may not be equipped with the tools to entertain you, but you have such a large pool of people to choose from! All it takes is for you to stop reading this and hit the “like” button, and comment, and leave your computer and go out to talk with a stranger! I am only joking (but really)…


3. Your Self-understanding

People who feel gloomy feel the way they do, because they have a tendency to believe that they have it worse than others do. But that way of thinking is very futile and definitely will not mitigate the problem. A person just has to remind himself that there will always be someone better than him, so sitting there and sniveling will do him no good. Once a person realizes that the competition is about himself vs himself of yesterday, he will soon see the improvement he is making daily. Just knowing yourself will give you more reasons to love your life and give you unexpected happiness that awaits tomorrow.


Let me use a Pokemon analogy to help you better understand what we are failing to do: A player is given a Pokemon to start the game, and the player has to catch other Pokemon to add to his Pokedex (Portmanteau: Pokemon + Index ). When a player catches a legendary/rare Pokemon, the player immediately becomes elated and starts to celebrate, and without his knowing, he is smiling about it. Also, the player can only carry up to 6 Pokemons, so the player chooses the best ones that could help his journey. In life, we can have more than 6 (best) friends (I put the word “best” in parentheses, because I deem it unnecessary, but I will mention that in later discussion) who are always there for us. Other Pokemon you run into while walking in the grass or in the cave represent strangers you meet in life. Some, you will want to catch and treasure, but others you are fine with letting them go. It is your decision. But what I really want to convey through this analogy is that, players do their best to make sure that their Pokemon are in best shape to get the job done. They train their Pokemons to be the best; they don’t just turn off the power button when they encounter better players. So why can’t we apply that simple method to our lives? Why can’t we just do our best to improve ourselves? Think of yourself as a character in a game that you want to train! I am so sorry if this sounded too corny and if you have never played Pokemon or do not have a clue about the show. This was out of my comfort zone, as well.



First month of the year is in the past already and so is my first 2 weeks of school…

I am already feeling the intense pressure of school work that I NEED to finish tomorrow if I want to watch the Super Bowl this Sunday.

To list a few assignments, I need to read about 4 chapters for my Green engineering classes, take a quiz, a research paper, study for a quiz, work on my math assignment, prepare my lab, and a little bit more.

Studies have shown that music with words distract students when studying, but music with no words can help students.


So I would like to ask the readers to recommend me ANY music that I can listen to when I study!

And I mean ANY music. My favorite soundtrack is Frozen soundtrack!

But please don’t recommend me 4’33”

If you haven’t heard of that piece, go check it out on YouTube! (I don’t know if they would have it). Don’t get me wrong though, I really appreciate, respect, and understand the composer’s purpose of the piece, but I’m worried that I would fall asleep listening to it and working on my assignments!


Thank you!

He, who does not give up

It is sickening that I have turned my back on Him, but he refused to let me go.

Before college, I have always attended adult service at church with my parents, so I never had the chance to share His love with people of my age. Naturally, when I came to college, it was a new experience. I realized that the brothers and sisters in my fellowship have elevated my trust and love for Him; I became more thirsty for His love and for greater knowledge.

To my surprise, I had to take a year off after my first year. At first, I was baffled. I just did not know how to react. I really didn’t. As any student would, I questioned God, “Why me?” I initially thought that he had given up on me. I thought He and I were on the same page. I thought he saw me grow in His opened arms, but felt as if he tossed me aside.

Boy, was I wrong. He wanted me to seek for Him without depending on others (Acts 17:27). He wanted one on one time with me! How marvelous is that? To assure me that I do not need friends to confirm my belief, but to solely rely on God for who He is. When that mentality began to shape up, I couldn’t help but to believe that I was the chosen one to be His best friend! Through that year-long absence from school, I have become so close to God. I was afraid of Him at first, but He became my best friend. Those were the happiest days of my life! (Sure, that I didn’t have to stress from school assignments could have mitigated the problem, but seriously… God can do wonders)

Unfortunately and unexpectedly, our friendship vitiated last semester. After I came back to school, I was SO confident that I could achieve so much with His help… but for some reason, I turned away from that. I shut Him out. I did not let Him in my life. In hindsight, I think that was the darkest time of my life. But cut me some slack, because I did try to resist the temptations and return to Him. But I surrendered to school work, lack of discipline, and to other personal reasons. How foolish is that?

Before this semester started, I promised myself that I would change. I promised Him that I will not be the same.

I can proudly say that I am not the same man of yesterday. I am very confident that I can finally earn a 4.0 gpa (yes I know… it’s only been the first week of school). I am very confident that I can get closer to God again. To my Father.

I am a disciple on campus. I will do my best to share His love to everyone.

He saved me, so I don’t see how he can’t save you.


“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” – Hebrews 13:8

For the First Time

Spoiler alert: It isn’t actually my first time, but oh well. Here we go!

20 years of my life, I’ve been to 7 different schools (excluding kindergarten)… with my sister. Same elementary school in Korea to same elementary school in America to same elementary school after the district-change to same middle school to a same middle school in a different district to same high school… and to same college (I’ve been practicing to become an auctioneer. Only joking, I couldn’t think of a better way to express the list of schools – mea culpa).

And no, I do not have a twin sister. But mind as well call her my twin, because 9 out of 10 people remind us that we look the same. Some say that we even sound the same… just kidding about the second part. We didn’t like it at first, but we grew out of it. Now, whenever I call her ugly, she calmly replies, “you look like me” and we just have a laugh at it. 

Sadly, that streak has ended. Image

She is now a graduate.

I must admit, I could have been a more well-rounded, independent individual if I did not have a sister to look up to, but there were many benefits to having a sister whom I frequently ran into in hallways. To think, it is amazing that we ran into each other so often in college. She was like a mother to me in college. Always checking up on me to see if I am eating and doing well, and whatnot. I appreciated it a lot.

I am going back to college in 3 days, and I have not put much thought into it, but I think I will struggle to find someone/something to fill the huge void she has left behind. Like really… And frankly, I very dislike saying affectionate statements. You know, statements that make you feel “gooey” inside. Don’t get me wrong, I show my gratitude and apologize when needed, but I suppose my sister and my parents don’t hear that from me as much as they deserve. I guess that’s an indication that I have been taking them for granted.

I am honestly nervous. It is like my first time living away from home where my sister isn’t around when I need her. But more importantly, I am more nervous for her. She will be studying assiduously for MCAT to pursue her dream. And I thought I was exposed to the real world when I graduated high school. She is in her transition to the real world. We have reached a point where we can no longer support each other academically and help make decision for each other. Yes, we can still opine in given situations, but it is ultimately our own choice to make the decision for ourselves.


I know she’s a hard, tenacious worker. Never bending to compelling forces. When you tell her that she can’t, she will prove you wrong. She is that type of person. So I should not worry about her so much, because my classes will begin soon, but it is something I just cannot help with.

I am sorry, but I honestly cannot conjure the theme for this post. All I can say is that because my family has always been a very, close, knitted family, it would be harder for me to live hours away from home all alone. My family and I literally do everything together. If one of us needs to go to the bank, we all roll out together as if we had planned a bank heist. Heck, my dad, my sister, and I play a game every night to make the loser do the dishes so my mom doesn’t have to worry about them.

Point is, I feel like I am breaking the bond or I am forced out of the group. Friends are great, but they are not the same.

I suppose this is my first fear that I will be learning to overcome for the year.
What about you? What is your fear you are willing/forced to face?


PS: Sorry, those aren’t my sister’s graduation caps. As much as I wanted to use pictures of us, I didn’t want to expose her identity without her consent.

Reminding Ourselves Using the Internet

Technology has come a long way and streamlined the society.

We can pretty much do anything with the Internet. You don’t feel like reaching in your backpack to grab your calculator? You can do that on your computer (WolframAlpha is a great site for any computation). Don’t feel like flipping through large newspaper? You can opt to click through the pages using your computer. And of course, for boys, it’s a great source to tap their curiosity.

But honestly, I see many people squandering the great resource we are so fortunate to have, to vicariously communicate with one another. People are always on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, etc. A study shows that, on average people log on their Facebook at least 9 times a day (I don’t remember where I got this source from). NINE FREAKING TIMES! That is ridiculous. And what is more disturbing is that, I failed to quit Facebook after deactivating it for almost a year (To my defense, I needed it for some of the clubs/classes at school), and fortunately, I am not too caught up with other social media.

This is not to say that the internet is an impediment to our culture; I am merely pointing out that many of us misuse the great tool we are endowed with. There are many great websites that can help us widen our perspectives and improve our social skills. I personally see social network such as Facebook as a great hindrance. People are so used to texting and chatting, that it naturally becomes awkward for them to communicate face to face. Every time we pick up our phone to text or to socialize on Facebook, we are practically eating “the fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden (Genesis 3:3)” – We become different persons behind our computer! (Genesis 3:10).


There are many great sites that we can use to remind ourselves of who we are, and here are some of my favorites:

1. Youtube – I hear people say, “Oh my goodness, I waste so much time on Youtube!” I never understood how people can be so attached to their seats while they aimlessly search for funny videos on Youtube. But that is not all it has to offer. You can search so many inspirational videos on Youtube that can motivate us.

2. Ted – I’ve heard that the website does not post certain videos if it does not agree with the speaker, but it still has plethora of inspirational videos. It makes you ask, “what the hell was I thinking the whole time?” Some videos can be a bit lengthy, but it sure is a great website to visit before you go to sleep or when you open your eyes in the morning.

3. MSN – I realized that many websites that assay to inform the audience of what is going on in the world are biased towards either political party, but if I am not mistaking, MSN does not fall under that group. It is a great source to keep yourself informed about what is going on around you, and it does not hurt to be informed as much as you hate the government.

4. WordPress – Geez, where do I start? I started using WordPress about 3-4 weeks ago, and in that short span of time, I have met MANY inspirational writers. If you start to lose faith in humanity, WordPress can resurrect hope in mankind. You just need to know where your interests lie and share your thoughts with other readers. You will be surprised to find many writers who think like you and can encourage you.

I am very certain that there are many websites that can have a positive impact on our lives, and I would love to visit some. So please suggest any websites that encourage in the comments below! Also, I do not dislike Facebook users at all. I possibly can’t. After all, there are over a billion Facebook users out there. That would make me a misanthrope. I am very far from that.

PS: I wanted to add a picture of the sites’ logo next to their names, but I just felt wrong about it… I felt like I was violating some sort of policy. It’s just inexplicable. Also I realize that the only picture I posted is inappropriate, so please let me know if I need to take it down. Thank you

Searching For The “Lost” Little Prince

Before I get started, I would like to point out the matrix of my inspiration: The Little Prince. Frankly, I was never into books until I picked up The Little Prince while babysitting. The book was very concise- yes, it had pictures on almost every page (that could have been one of the factors of being my favorite of all time) – and it pointed out the obvious that we, as grown ups, have been so oblivious about.


  I have been thinking a lot lately. Thinking about life, specifically about my outlook attitude, mentality, past, present, future, and friends. I cannot help but to be so conscious about what I am doing every second and how I am spending those precious seconds. Many times, I fail to remind myself that those precious seconds add up to minutes, which add up to hours, days, weeks, months, years, and so on until however long God has made use of me.

Last semester in college, I hit the bottom rock of my life. I was so miserable; I discussed with my family, advisor, and friends about changing my major, but I just couldn’t. Sure, it was mainly because of my pride. Not to condescend upon other majors, but many engineers believe that their studies are the most challenging and laudable subject to study in college. Spare me criticism, because I was not one of them. I believed that anyone can choose to study engineering, but that decision alone does not augment a person’s potential. I believe that the amount of effort, time, and dedication a person puts into her passion defines how ingenious she is. I just couldn’t change my major, because I KNEW I did not do my best. That I thought about changing my major and stressed those around me were abominable. How was I supposed to tell myself that I should change my major if I did not try my best? It just wasn’t fair for myself. I did not give myself a fair chance to attempt and actually tell myself and others if I was capable. The fact that I knew myself and did not do anything to change myself made me very despondent. I constantly thought and believed that nothing could change my attitude and nothing could ever make me smile.

During my winter break, I decided to catch up on reading; I knew that I had to reread The Little Prince to shape my attitude. I just had too many questions to answer for myself. It all began with, “What do I want?” Very broad, but I strongly believe that the answer to that question can take my wheel. I just want to be happy and find reasons to smile (Don’t worry, I am not a pessimist – I am the winner of The Most Talkative award back in middle school, and I used to get in trouble for SMILING/LAUGHING too much – That still remains a mystery to me). To be happy, I had to think like a child, but act like an adult. If the two antitheses can mingle together and coexist, I firmly believe that that will create the ultimate happiness I we so seek.

All grown-ups were once children… but only few of them remember it.” – The Little Prince

In time of solitude, I realized that I had known the solution all along. I just had to do my best. Heck, if I do my best and fail, what/whom can I blame? I’m not gonna blame myself for not being able to achieve something if I give it my best. As a matter of fact, I will be proud of myself for pushing myself to do my best. I am certain that that pride will push the ceiling and help me achieve anything I desire. You never know what life has to offer: “What makes the desert beautiful,’ said the little prince, ‘is that somewhere it hides a well…” – The Little Prince.


You only need to focus on what you must do. You know what you need to do. We all do. We are just so stubborn to tell ourselves the truth and trying to earn pity from others and, worst of all, ourselves. I believe that self-pity is the greatest hindrance to our development.

Never be discouraged; SERIOUSLY look at your mistakes as your lessons. Sure, sometimes the mistakes are so grand that you simply cannot call it a lesson, but time squandered, which you will never get back. However, be aware that that regret will do no good for you unless you have the will to transmute your regret to success.

Discover your passion; admit your mistakes; learn to move on. Don’t let the life take control over you, and take control over your life. Let yourself be tamed by caring people around you. Make sure to tame loving people, responsibility, and life. Just find ways to keep yourself happy all the time. In case you are unsure, here’s the definition for ya:

What does tamed mean? It’s something that’s been too often neglected. It means to create ties.” – The Little Prince

“Grown ups never understood anything by themselves. And it is rather tedious to have to explain things to them time and again” – The Little Prince. Let this not pertain to us. Let’s learn to pay attention to all details. Those minute details can be the missing pieces to our puzzle.

So who and where is your Little Prince?


PS: I HIGHLY recommend The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery if you haven’t read it. For some odd reason, people tend to have read this book when they were young, but that is the perplexing beauty of it. The book is under children section at a bookstore. I believe adults will learn more than children will by reading this book. After all, children are masters of the knowledge. Also, I would greatly appreciate it if you could recommend me books via comment and your insights on life. As always, thank you!

Becoming More of Humans

This week, I would like to talk about how my perception has changed about my parents as I grew older. Next week, I will talk about how my self-reflection has had an impact on my life, so please tune in!

When we were young, before we hit our double-digit or maybe even up to high school, we saw our parents as super heroes. Not just our role models, but people who could do anything at their will. Our parents were people who knew no suffering, pain, or sadness-nothing could bring them down to earth. I don’t know about where you guys grew up, but from where I come from, we used to go around telling one another (this applies to boys – I think) that our dad is the greatest, strongest, and the best! I remember hearing, “my dad can beat your dad up!” To think, how silly were we… because we now know that violence isn’t the answer.

To conjure the saddest moment of my life, I would definitely have to say the day I learned my parents were more of humans than what I believed them to be has to be it. How wrong I was. How immature I was. How naive I was.

I was born and raised in South Korea, and immigrated to America when I was 8. My parents knew nothing about the foreign country, except for 2 things: 1.) It wasn’t going to be easy to become alienated, and 2.) Going all in on me and my sister. I will save the details of the sacrifices that they had to make, but I would like to point out that anyone can say that about his or her parents if he or she, too, immigrated from another country. The only difference is how sincere his or her understanding is of the parents’ sacrifice. I can proudly say that I fully understand their sacrifice and I promise to the whole world that I will be the best person I can be.

When I saw them cry, when I saw them struggle with their work, I still had no idea. I was selfish; sure, I didn’t want my parents to cry or to show their weakness, but I didn’t bother to help search for their solution. It was only when I had come to a certain age that I realized those tears that they shed were for me. That is when I began to realize that they CAN’T do everything on their own. They need someone to hold their hand, they need someone to tell them that their effort will blossom into abundance, they need a super hero of their own who can take down their problems.

Had someone told me 10 years ago that my parents were just like the rest of us, I would have laughed in disbelief. Now, I find myself doing my best to become their super hero. It is my turn to become that person who they can rely on. The solution was simple: it was ME. I had to become the person to hold their hand; I had to become the person who can whisper to them that everything will be okay. It is as if they had inherited their plausible super powers to me throughout their tough times. It is my dream, it is THEIR dream, to be in their shoes years from now to show them that their sacrifices were worth it. To correct them that it wasn’t a sacrifice, but an investment. How pissed off would you be if you invested your whole life on something and receive nothing in return? Because I would be. It would bother me more if I can’t do anything to show my gratitude. Think about it, your parents had their own dream, a passion, before they had you guys. They gave up their dreams and shifted their goal onto you.

After enduring tough times, you will learn that those times were blessings in disguise. Through those times, my feet have grown bigger. I may not be ready now to step in their shoes, but I promise I will be.

I understand this was written poorly and that I left out many profound details. But believe it or not, that was my intention. To share every detail would be too long and take away your precious time. I wanted to write out the general idea to reflect on, so that you can have a chance to fill out your own story.

Year 2013 is coming to an end, and let’s just remind our parents how thankful we are and let’s promise them that we will walk tenaciously in year 2014.

I apologize for the confusion in advance, but my parents are still my super heroes. Enduring through many hardships and never asking for anything in return from me and my sister take some mighty strength to fight through all that. Now, I will work harder to lift their burdens off of their shoulders. After all, I am getting older every second; I have no time to waste.


Why Do We Give Up So Easily?

There are people who succeed and those who fail. But people who give up do not realize that successful people were once failures as well. Then why can’t we all succeed?

1. We walk aimlessly. Before I start, I would like to point out that there is no goal too big to achieve. However, we walk the walk thinking that we won’t reach the finish line. We rarely envision ourselves achieving our goals, which eventually questions the origin of our desire: What is it that we want to achieve? Why do we want to achieve it? How much do we want it? These questions resurface with greater emphasis once our attitude start veering off to the wrong direction.

2. We are afraid. It takes time and sacrifices to accomplish greater goals. This is especially true to those who are in the middle class; one may not have everything to satisfy her greed, but she also have some to lose if she dares to venture her curiosity. Before you even set your goal, you question your capability. “How can I possibly do that?”, “Do I really NEED it?”, “Is it worth the time investment?”, etc. Those worries may be necessary, but they only prove to be impediments to your goal. Once a thought of trying something new comes to your mind, you just have to be able to stand firm and learn to let go to try something new.

3. It is easier. Very simple. “it’s not worth it if it’s so easy to achieve”. How many times have we heard that? It sounds cool and immediately without putting much thought into it, we take that quote and transform it to our motto. But frankly, how often do we actually think about the meaning of the quote and try to apply it to our perception? When we face obstacles, we tend to search for the shortcut or easy way about solving the problem. But when we work to accomplish a goal, it’s either we push our limit or we abort the mission. There is never that perfect balance between the two. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself, you won’t be able to find easier way about accomplishing your goal other than to give up on it. You will soon ask yourself, “why do I need to stress over this, when I can simply quit as if nothing had happened, because I haven’t done much?”

Well, here’s a tip for ya:

If you doubt your goal, just go for it. You will never know until you try. If it ends in a failure, you will know to move on and establish a new goal. If you succeed… well, there you have it.

So what’s stopping you?

Finding Beauty

Beauty is something that surrounds us, yet we strive to long for and fail to perceive it.

Veraciously, it is challenging to find beauty in struggles, frustration, and anxiety, but I would go on to argue that it is a blessing in disguise, waiting to be deciphered.

Sure, I have been on the same boat: struggling to find a destination in my life, my purpose in life.

Growing up, I have turned all my struggles to God, and in times of failures, I assured myself that I should not worry so much, because God has a greater plan for me. However, once you repeat the same reassuring phrase to yourself, you would be surprised to find that that phrase had merely been a sugarcoated phrase. And I was no exception. I was greatly dismayed and perplexed when I discovered the boundary between fully relying on God and using God as an excuse.

Since the realization, my goal had become a bit more clear: fully utilize all the opportunities He has endowed upon us to work toward His plan. But how? How can I possibly say that I fully believe in Heaven, a place that holds our true treasures, when I struggle with my problems on earth? If so, what is my purpose here, and how can I seize the opportunities to discover my purpose?

Well, I did not have to look too far to find the answer.

People work assiduously to provide the best for themselves, their family, and their future. Yes, we are accustomed to believe that money is the solution to all problems, although many believe that money cannot buy happiness. A paradox or, perhaps, a belying sentiment, you could call it.

What people really want is happiness in life. Regrettably, the society has turned us into robots that fixed our brains to work and compete against one another. Yes, I understand that competitions bring out the best in us, but it surely does not give us the reason to empathize with others and to belittle ourselves. Altruism is gone along with humility… and along with beauty that we so seek.

I understand that my next statements will or could contradict all of my baffling statements stated above, but the problem we have is what makes everything so beautiful. If we let ourselves become complacent, what else can we possibly long for? If we are indifferent to our struggles, what can be said of that? Those frustrations and anxiety are the substantiations that beauty exists. Those are the compelling forces that drive us to work harder, to seek greater joy, to discover beauty in life. In a way it is a cycle, but once you can convince yourself that every aspect of the cycle is beautiful, it will make sense.

Just look at the children around us. The younger generation that will fill our shoes in years look up to us… but we should look up to/down at(?) them. They know what life is all about; they know how to live their lives. And let’s not say that that is because they are free of work, although I cannot completely deny it. But really, why do we let ourselves follow the matters of consequence, and be reluctant to just learn to let go and live the life we used to when we were children? Do you realize how easy it is to make children happy, and how easy it is to see a genuine smile on their faces? You just have to be honest and show that you care. Next time a child smiles at you, instead of telling yourself that that smile made your day, keep in mind that you are the one that made his day. You will have created a cycle of beauty.

I know this was badly written and very unorganized, so I will try to redeem myself by paraphrasing my words:

Put aside temptations, snivels, and angst. Just remember that beauty is waiting to be discovered. Beauty has found its way to us, why not just believe in it. You just have to believe it to see it.

I believe we will be able to laugh in the future at the struggles that seem so big to us now, because of how little they actually are. Surely, that would put a smile on our wrinkly face and see the beauty of life in hindsight.