Slump Ends Here

Have you ever heard, “It’s a blessing in disguise”?

Well, sometimes that blessing can be “too good to be true”.

I am certain there are readers who have not read my previous posts, but I will briefly recapitulate my story:

    I was born a Christian, and that has been one of the greatest blessings but an impediment in my development. Although I am bilingual, it is easier for me to stay focused and truly understand when I listen to sermons in English… but because I have been attending services with my parents in a Korean church, I found myself daydreaming during sermons. Naturally, when I came to college, I joined a fellowship to praise God. After a year of getting closer to God, I had to take a year off for personal reason. I questioned God. I felt that He was pushing me away when I have begun to get to know Him better. During a year of absence from school, God told me that He just wanted to spend 1 on 1 time with me. He wanted to teach me that I do not need to depend on others to be closer to Him, but on Him alone.           

   However, when I came back to school, I pushed God away. I did my worst academically and spiritually. I just couldn’t overcome academic challenges, so I kept pushing God down my priorities so that I could focus on school. That obviously did not go well. Fortunately for me, I found Jesus in my life again. This semester, I joined a ministry that could help me set my eyes upon God. I was proud and felt loved by His sons and daughters. My joining the ministry seemed like a sign that God has not let go of me… until people have expressed their concerns for me (I do not want to go too much in detail about the ministry for its privacy). I sought out God’s help and He answered. I was able to speak to different pastors and leaders of fellowships to set my eyes on TRUTH.

    Just when I thought God has placed me in a right place to grow, He placed me in a place where I can seek out the truth. I think He wanted to weed out the worst while I was in the slump so that I do not fall into another slump after climbing back out of the hole. Because of those experiences and struggles God has given me, I am so willing to seek out for Him. I love my Abba and trust that He will continue to guide me.

 

As always, I do not know how to finish my post, but I would love to share my experiences with readers who are truly interested, so please feel free to ask me via e-mail. Also, what are you giving up for lent?

He, who does not give up

It is sickening that I have turned my back on Him, but he refused to let me go.

Before college, I have always attended adult service at church with my parents, so I never had the chance to share His love with people of my age. Naturally, when I came to college, it was a new experience. I realized that the brothers and sisters in my fellowship have elevated my trust and love for Him; I became more thirsty for His love and for greater knowledge.

To my surprise, I had to take a year off after my first year. At first, I was baffled. I just did not know how to react. I really didn’t. As any student would, I questioned God, “Why me?” I initially thought that he had given up on me. I thought He and I were on the same page. I thought he saw me grow in His opened arms, but felt as if he tossed me aside.

Boy, was I wrong. He wanted me to seek for Him without depending on others (Acts 17:27). He wanted one on one time with me! How marvelous is that? To assure me that I do not need friends to confirm my belief, but to solely rely on God for who He is. When that mentality began to shape up, I couldn’t help but to believe that I was the chosen one to be His best friend! Through that year-long absence from school, I have become so close to God. I was afraid of Him at first, but He became my best friend. Those were the happiest days of my life! (Sure, that I didn’t have to stress from school assignments could have mitigated the problem, but seriously… God can do wonders)

Unfortunately and unexpectedly, our friendship vitiated last semester. After I came back to school, I was SO confident that I could achieve so much with His help… but for some reason, I turned away from that. I shut Him out. I did not let Him in my life. In hindsight, I think that was the darkest time of my life. But cut me some slack, because I did try to resist the temptations and return to Him. But I surrendered to school work, lack of discipline, and to other personal reasons. How foolish is that?

Before this semester started, I promised myself that I would change. I promised Him that I will not be the same.

I can proudly say that I am not the same man of yesterday. I am very confident that I can finally earn a 4.0 gpa (yes I know… it’s only been the first week of school). I am very confident that I can get closer to God again. To my Father.

I am a disciple on campus. I will do my best to share His love to everyone.

He saved me, so I don’t see how he can’t save you.

 

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” – Hebrews 13:8