Slump Ends Here

Have you ever heard, “It’s a blessing in disguise”?

Well, sometimes that blessing can be “too good to be true”.

I am certain there are readers who have not read my previous posts, but I will briefly recapitulate my story:

    I was born a Christian, and that has been one of the greatest blessings but an impediment in my development. Although I am bilingual, it is easier for me to stay focused and truly understand when I listen to sermons in English… but because I have been attending services with my parents in a Korean church, I found myself daydreaming during sermons. Naturally, when I came to college, I joined a fellowship to praise God. After a year of getting closer to God, I had to take a year off for personal reason. I questioned God. I felt that He was pushing me away when I have begun to get to know Him better. During a year of absence from school, God told me that He just wanted to spend 1 on 1 time with me. He wanted to teach me that I do not need to depend on others to be closer to Him, but on Him alone.           

   However, when I came back to school, I pushed God away. I did my worst academically and spiritually. I just couldn’t overcome academic challenges, so I kept pushing God down my priorities so that I could focus on school. That obviously did not go well. Fortunately for me, I found Jesus in my life again. This semester, I joined a ministry that could help me set my eyes upon God. I was proud and felt loved by His sons and daughters. My joining the ministry seemed like a sign that God has not let go of me… until people have expressed their concerns for me (I do not want to go too much in detail about the ministry for its privacy). I sought out God’s help and He answered. I was able to speak to different pastors and leaders of fellowships to set my eyes on TRUTH.

    Just when I thought God has placed me in a right place to grow, He placed me in a place where I can seek out the truth. I think He wanted to weed out the worst while I was in the slump so that I do not fall into another slump after climbing back out of the hole. Because of those experiences and struggles God has given me, I am so willing to seek out for Him. I love my Abba and trust that He will continue to guide me.


As always, I do not know how to finish my post, but I would love to share my experiences with readers who are truly interested, so please feel free to ask me via e-mail. Also, what are you giving up for lent?


I Killed Jesus

Not only once, but many times.

Our sin is our falling short of the glory of God. We are not righteous. We need the righteousness of Jesus, which comes from faith in Jesus Christ.

Our sin deserves death and that is its rightful consequence.

But why do we keep sinning? Why is it so difficult for us to do what God asks us to do and let go of our earthly desires?
That is because we are shy about exposing our sins. We are embarrassed about sharing certain immoral actions that we commit daily. For instance, it is widely believed that all guys watch porn and lust over girls, but men are afraid to say it themselves in front of women. How can we, then, say that we are capable of fighting off our sins when we are afraid to expose it? You see, we should be fighting to expose our sins, and hiding from it won’t change anything. But once we expose our sin, we can be saved and not allow our sins to enslave us again.

We are slaves to God when we are saved!

Slave to God = Life.

(Romans 6:22-23)

Look at Luke 7:36-50 for an example. Sinful woman (prostitute) was disrespected and was condescended upon, and Pharisee (Teacher of the law) was revered and viewed with honor. Look at the scripture and see who respected whom. How did they view their sin? What was their response to their sin, and why? Jesus tells us that no matter how trivial our sins may be compare to those of others, we are equal before Him. We need God! Our love for Him should be great because our sin is overwhelming.

God sent His son, Jesus, to die for us on the cross. Jesus died for our sins. Just because God put Jesus on the cross for our sins, could it be possible that Jesus actually wanted to die? The answer is no. Jesus died willingly because it was to fulfill God’s purpose.

It was because of OUR sins that Jesus had to die. Yet, here we are today, still committing sins. Consequently, we are killing Jesus over and over again. Is it because we haven’t really seen Jesus in real life, that we allow this to happen? Should anything be different if one of our family members had to die for what we did wrong? Would you be so willing to commit the sin again? I certainly hope not.

I believe that the first step we need to take is to expose our sins. Once we are strong enough to let ourselves know what we are doing wrong, then we can truly fight it. How could we possibly fight something if we don’t know it exist?

Are you willing to expose your sins?


I just realized after posting this that today was Valentines Day… Maybe I should have written something more happy and loving… But then again, Single’s Awareness day isn’t too exciting, anyway. I just need His love.